Tired

I just realized, I'm fatigued...all sorts of fatigued.  I'm emotionally fatigued, mentally fatigued, and physically fatigued.  I didn't realize it until this weekend.  How did I get here?  I think it was due to weeks of gradual fatigue.  For weeks now, Kira has been developing an attachment to me, which gets worse by the day.  It's *definitely* taking a toll on me.  I guess I knew it was taking a toll on me.  But now, I know for sure it is taking a toll on me.  It's a shame I didn't face it earlier and do something about it.  If I had acted on this feeling, then maybe I wouldn't be here, completely fatigued.

Ok, this opens up a lot of questions.

1. Why didn't I weigh the consequences of early fatigue heavier?  If I had taken more seriously how crapy I would eventually feel, I would have acted sooner.

2. What should I have done instead?  Even if I did take my fatigue seriously (early on), I would not know what to do; more "me time?"  What is that anyways?  Something that makes me happy.  What's that?  (Bear with me, I'm working this out as I'm typing!)  

3. Having kids is hard.  Would I eventually be completely fatigued regardless of the level of my self-awareness?  Maybe all parents feel this way at one point or another.

4. How many more times am I going to go through this until I figure out how to better cope?

5. How am I going to figure out the answers to these questions?!?